Dither
by foreverunloved
Summary: Rated T for suicide, and coma, and language - Ok a drama-ish like story! :D woot hope you like it, and it ish kinda depressing... and the name kind of has a meaning in a way... if you really want to know just ask...


**Hiya! ^-^ how ish you all? lolz I ish fine =3=..... Sorry about not writing fan fics for a while... XD but I started RPing.... o.o and I got addicted... now me and my friends Paige and Jeramy RP for about 7 to 8 hours a night.... yaaaaaaah..... ^^' lolz so yah.....**

**I would like to give credit to 2 PEOPLE~ for helping me write this ^-^ lolz ok**

**#1 is Paige~ ^-^ My Mello cosplayer (I ish Matt) lolz she wrote all on Mello's lines for me, cuz I can't write like Mello =3=...**

**#2 is Aquene~ ^-^ lolz she edited half of it... so if the first half is written porly and the second ish all like O_o OMFG that sounds really smart.... XD thats why lolz cuz she ish very smart =3= all A's *ish jelous* XD so any way...**

**THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME P AND A ^-^ *glomp* it really helped! :D**

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Matt looked at Mello, Trying to decide what to do. He loved Mello, more then anything in the world, but...

"Mello......" He rested his head on the bed next to Mello's soft pale arm. Then Matt slammed his fist on the table next to him.

"Mello I'm sorry! I just can't...... " Tears started streaming down Matt's cheeks. "You been like this for 2 years now... I- I just don't know if I can keep coming.... It's.... just to sad...." Matt grabbed Mello's hand, and wished that the past 2 years had just been a bad dream.

After a minute or so, Matt wiped the tears off his cheeks, and looked up so he could see Mello's face, that looked like it was glowing in the sunlight. His face used to be so full of happiness and life, now, as he lied there motionless in a sleep that he may never wake up from, he looked sad, as if he knew he was hurting Matt, and was trying to apologize. Matt knew that Mello loved him, and that was enough.

Matt held Mello's hand on his cheek, And remembered some of the happiest times of their life together... Like when they first met, Mello had been crying and Matt had heard him and wanted to see what was wrong... When Matt finally got the courage to ask Mello out... Their first kiss, on their first date... Matt had taken Mello to a secret spot in the woods behind his house...

*FLASH BACK*

"M- Matt..... It's beautiful..... " Mello let go of Matt's hand and spun around in a circle looking at the circular opening, with fire flies dancing all around.

"I thought you would like it....." He watched Mello spin around, and waited for him to take it all in.

"I... wow.... you really surprised me this time Matt..." Mello was watching a fire fly, and was about to chase after it when all of a sudden he felt Matt stick an arm around his waist, and the other around his neck. Then he felt Matt's soft lips press up agenst his. At first he didn't know how to react, then he decided to put his arms around the redhead, and kiss him back.

*END FLASH BACK*

Matt sighs, then leans forward and kisses Mello's lips quickly.

"I may not visit again for a while..... " Matt combs his fingers through Mello's hair like he used to when Mello was upset. Mello's nurse came in to do his daily check up, and sees Matt.

"Back again today are you? He's really lucky to have someone like you here to watch after him."

Matt looks over Mello again, and then sees the ring on Mello's left hand.

"We never did get to have our wedding......" Matt kisses Mello's hand and then gets up and leaves the room, and walks to his car. When he reaches the car, he quickly starts it and drives home.

When he pulls in to the driveway, he looks over at the empty passengers seat, then runs inside trying to hold back tears. Once he gets inside, he slams the door shut behind him, and then slides down the wall, so he is sitting like L. He buries his head in arms and cries. He sits there for about half an hour, then he stands back up, and walks to the couch and gets out a cigarette.

Matt tried to do every thing he could to keep the house looking the same as it did when Mello had gone to the hospital. He even did all the house work that Mello did. When ever it needed to be done, he:

-Washed the windows and other glass

-Sweep

-Vacuum

-Clean the wood

-Garden

-Mow the lawn/ other lawn chores

-Feed the birds and humming birds

-Clean the sinks

-Shake out the rugs

-Do the laundry

-Wash the dishes

-Dust

-Clean the stove

-Clean the tub

-Clean the toilet

-Mop

-Make sure all the books were straight

-Work

-Eat and cook

-Iron

-Pay the bills/ taxes

-Check/ sent mail

-Computer stuff

-Water plants

-Drive...

-Grocery shopping

-Make bed

-Wash table

-Take trash and recycling out

-Compost

-And other normal cleaning stuff...

Matt really did pay attention to what Mello did every day, and really appreciated it! Matt wanted to be able to show Mello that he really was strong, and responsible, and that he wasn't just some lazy, annoying, perverted moron, that was only with Mello for sex, and because he was cute.

Matt continued all these things, along with activities such as smoking, taking showers, playing video games, getting dressed, visiting Mello and reading the news paper. Every morning, even though Mello wasn't there, Matt would Make him a cup of coffee and set a bar of chocolate beside it, just incase he returned.

Matt continued this routine, but, after some time had elapsed, he did not visit Mello and he did not get him coffee and chocolate in the mornings. On December 13th, Matt woke up, and started his day as usual. Ever since his last visit, Matt hadn't had a stable mind; it was always racing, thinking about something. On this particular day, he snapped.

While washing the dishes, he decided to grab a knife, and end it all. He walked in to the living room, laid upon the couch and held the knife to his throat. Tears began to stream down his cheeks.

"L-Life just isn't worth living without you Mells...." He slowly let the knife break the first layers of skin, then he let the cold blood drip down his neck and on to the couch. His thoughts focused solely on Mello, and he did not wish to think about anyone else during the remainder of his life. He wanted only to die thinking about Mello. Matt forced the knife in to his neck more, oblivious to the rest of the world. He didn't so much as notice the little blonde that had just walked in the door...

Mello, still tired, got out of the car and looked around, surprised that the house was still there. He couldn't wait to see Matt, so he walked up to the door and checked to see if it was open. Of course, it was. He walked into the living room, and his eyes automatically focused on Matt.

Mello didn't recognize the redhead at first. His eyes were focused on the gruesome sight before him. Unseeingly, Matt seemed to stare through Mello. The knife, the blood, the pair of goggles. Everything ended up making sense. With one final breath out, he walked to Matt, and knocked the knife aside with one hand. Without a word, he looked up at Matt sadly and embraced him.

"M-Mello...?" Matt jumped when he felt someone grab him, and he was even more surprised when he saw who it was.

Mello sighed, holding Matt a bit tighter. He didn't say a word, caught in a state of speechlessness.

_Matt is never like this, _thought Mello. He eventually broke away, looking up in to Matt's eyes.

"Dumbass..."

"Mello...? What are you doing here?" Matt looked up at Mello, tears forming in his eyes, overjoyed to see him again.

"I came back to see you. Didn't expect you to try and kill yourself." Mello sighed eyeing the now long, deep cut in Matt's neck.

"I- I'm sorry....." Matt looked away sadly, worried about what Mello's reaction would be.

"I thought you would never wake up again...."

"I wouldn't just leave you alone like that..." Mello glanced over to the knife, still in shock from the whole ordeal.

" I..... I'm so happy you're back........." Matt put his arms around Mello's neck, and leaned up to kiss him, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Mello didn't answer him, but kissed him back, wrapping his own hands around Matt. He felt blood flow from his neck, and with a breath out, he broke away. He wiped Matt's tears away, taking his hand. He dragged him into the Bathroom, where the first aid supplies were kept.

"Ow... Ow... Ow..." Matt allowed Mello pull him to the bathroom and bandage his neck.

"Matt..." He says quietly, finishing bandageing Matt's wound. "You're such... a fucking..... dumb-ass..." He sighed, watching Matt with some curiosity.

"W- Well...... I...... " He looked at the floor, feeling poorly.

"You've been gone for 2 years Mello....."

"That isn't excuse enough to kill yourself..." Mello released his breath, crossing his arms at the waist.

"If I had come just a few moments later, what the hell do you think would have happened to me?"

"W- Well......... "Matt sighed, trying to formulate a response...

"I.... I don't know....."

Mello mumbled a response, walking out of the bathroom. He brushed a hand through his hair, pissed off. He then shoved his hands in to his pockets, feeling a desire for the chocolate which he had been unable to eat for so long. He turned toward the kitchen.

Matt dithered as to whether or not he should follow, and decided in favor of pursuing his fiancé.

"M- Mello..........." He put a hand on Mello's shoulder as they both entered the kitchen.

"Matt... you're just..." He sighed, finding room for exasperation in the face of his sadness. He looked in the cabinets, realizing as he did so that there would, of course, be no chocolate (this being due to the fact that Matt had been there alone for two years). He muttered a curse under his breath, shutting the cabinet doors and looking back at Matt.

"It's in there... " Matt, too, sighed, then he pointed to a cabinet on the opposite side of the kitchen.

"I got chocolate...... just in case you came back.... which you did..."

Mello opened the cabinet which had been indicated, and he took a bar of chocolate out. He bit into it, not realizing how stale it's flavor had become. "so you got chocolate just incase I came back, but still felt the need to kill yourself?"

"Well... I bought it a while ago......" Matt gave a tinny, nervous laugh and folded his arms.

"Well.... I need you more then I need chocolate, so..." He blushed profusely, glancing away from Matt quickly and biting into the chocolate bar once again.

"Really? " Matt glanced up and looked directly at Mello before moving closer to him.

"Er..." His blush became more pronounced as he nervously nibbled his chocolate bar and tried to think of a rejoinder. "I- I ...yah..."

Mat giggled then sighed, wrapping an arm around Mello's waist and holding him tightly.

"I really missed you....."

Mello shuddered slightly, unused to Matt's warmth. Nonetheless, he nuzzles next to him to an even greater degree. "i'm sorry I was gone for so long."

Matt slid his finger down Mello's chest, then kissed him quickly.

Mello shuddered again, kissing Matt back. He wrapped his arms around Matt's neck, kissing him as he hadn't in years.

Matt leaned against the counter and continued Kissing Mello passionately.

Mello broke away to breathe and kissed him again, wanting the moment to last forever. He grasped Matt tighter, feeling tears gather in his eyes. He held them back, his eyes firmly shut.

Matt continues to kiss Mello for what seems like a blissful forever, and broke away at last. They held each other as near as they could, and Matt brushed his hand through Mello's hair.

Mello released another sigh--this time one of relief--closing his eyes, embracing Matt. he breathed in and out deeply, glad to be back. He felt himself almost fall unconscious there, but he shook himself out of a daze...

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**Ok..... =3= it was kinda depressing..... yah..... I was depressed when I started writing the first half.... and on a sugar rush for the secon half XDDD so yah.... plz review, even tho I might not reply unless it ish a question XD feel free to ask questions tho X3 ^-^ thanks so much for reading!**

**-Grimm**

***pøøƒ***

**lolz here is the first line of a poem i'm writing about M&M**

Matt unzips Mello's vest, then runs his finger down his chest.


End file.
